Lockheart Love ♡

Blog Post 8: New years thoughts

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Hello hello! It's the end of the year, and I've got some stuff I wanna say about it!

This year has been an interesting one for me. Probably my best year in a bit, or at least, it sort of feels that way. 2022 was "my year", and I still stand by that, but this year's been pretty good as well. I started anxiety meds, I graduated, I got this site up, and so much more. This year hasn't been perfect, but it's certainly been good.

At the same time though, I wish I'd been more productive. I procrastinated so hard on the album I've been working on that I didn't even finish it. I actually ended up splitting it into two smaller albums, and I still haven't finished it. I repeatedly made various sorts of promises to post more, and then proceeded to disappear for ages each time. Especially recently, I've been so caught up with this website (which I love very dearly and have NO intention of abandoning in the upcoming year) that I haven't been very active on Threads or Bluesky, even though I really want to be!! I miss my mutuals on those plaforms, and I don't really know how to convey that in a meaningful way - I can say it all I want, but I feel like it doesn't count for much if I say it and then disappear again.

I wasn't planning to have a resolution for the new year, but as I write this, I can already tell I have lots of things I want to do better going forward. I already had a few goals, like getting a job and (as much as I don't want to,) learning to drive, but those are more centered around what I NEED, rather than what I personally want. I'm turning 18 on the 10th, so those things are less fun ideals and more milestones that I'm behind on. I'm simultaneously DYING to turn 18 (as I've been actively wanting to since I was 13) while also not being ready for it at all. I like the idea of being able to engage in mature discussions without being dismissed or outright bullied - being 17 is very different than being 7, but a lot of folks that I've encountered seem to think that anyone below the age of 18 is incapable of complex thought. At the same time, though, I'm acutely aware of my lack of life experience. Knowing that this is the year I NEED to get that experience is a little stressful.

Anyways, in terms of resolutions, I feel like working on productivity in relation to content creation, and activity as it relates to my moots are some goals I'd like to fulfill. In a way, I've already started working on that first one, though. I started a new YouTube channel, on which I intend to post about literally whatever I want. Partially, I want to draw in a bigger audience, but primarily, I want to put myself out there and enjoy having an online space to enjoy - like this site, but in video form. I genuinely like making videos, so this takes some of the pressure off in terms of making a specific kind of content. No niche, just me.

I have to admit that I'm both nervous and excited about the upcoming year. A new year's text from my best friend who lives an hour ahead of me spiked that a little, but I'm grateful for that. I'm nervous about it, but I'm not dreading it either, y'know? I've already decided that I'll get through it no matter what happens, even if I have to claw my way through it, so the worst fear is already dismissed, in a way. That said, I hope everyone has a happy new year, and that regardless of the inevitable bad parts, this upcoming year brings a lot of good things along with it. Thanks for reading! ♡

- Bailey Lockheart (12/31/2024)